Kinder
by nekobotan
Summary: An alternate universe where the pilots meet in their kindergarten class. Some violence, a little bit of child abuse poor chibi Heero!.


**Kinder**  
A Gundam Wing Fanfiction  
By: Tan 

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***Warnings*:** A little bid of violence (child abuse), but nothing graphic. Too much thinking, and drivel, and long drawn out, pointless scenes.   
***Summry*:** An A.U. from the kindergartener Heero's P.O.V. It seems a bit advanced for a kindergartener, but I don't know how a 5 year old thinks. Take it or leave it ^_^ 

* * *

  
"Good morning class!" 

"Good morning Mrs. Huffaker!" 

The large woman smiled and clapped her hands lightly. Heero glared. "We have a new student, class. This is Heero Yuy. Say good morning!" 

"Good morning Heero Yuy! 

They know my name now-- they are all expendable. Heero scowled further. A small, sickly looking red head in the front of the room burst out crying. Mrs. Huffaker sighed. 

"You'll find a seat in the back, Heero. I'll be over in a second to show you what we're doing today." She patted his shoulder, gently pushing him in the right direction. Heero had to use a lot of will power to keep himself from grabbing Mrs. Huffaker's arm and flipping her over his head... J would not be pleased at such an action. 

With all 30 kindergartner eyes on him Heero stomped to the back of the room to the last available seat. Four more pairs of eyes watched him as he sat and contemplated his surroundings. 

"Hi, Heero!" A sweet, calm voice chirped. Heero's head snapped to attention, pulling the speaker into a dagger like gaze. 

The little boy didn't flinch. He was very fair, with nearly white blonde hair, and crystal colored eyes. In his tiny hand was a fat blue crayon, paused in the middle of scribbling out a blue blob on paper. "Welcome to our table!" 

Heero didn't comment. He was cataloging the blonde. May look innocent, but never underestimate. 

"My name is Quatre. That's Wufei--" 

Heero's eyes barely swiveled. There was a surprisingly small and sturdy Asian to his left. His dark eyes sparkled with intelligence, and pride. His crayon was pink, and he'd managed to sketch out a fat uneven dog. "Nataku" was written in round jagged letters beneath it. Quatre continued. 

"This is Trowa," he pointed to the boy next to him. Heero had barely noticed him. He sat very still, which was very abnormal of a 5 year old. His hair was short, brown, and beginning to grow in a strange fashion over one eye. Heero stared into the one completely visible hazel orb. Do not underestimate-- may not threaten, but has secrets... 

"And that's Duo." 

After a millisecond of further Trowa study Heero turned to his right. He was surprised, but didn't show it. Duo was inches from Heero's nose. After a moment he backed up and smiled hugely. He had mischievous, deep blue eyes. 

"Pass me the black crayon?" He demanded. 

A braid? How unprofessional, Heero thought. It was almost mid back, and was a soft baby brown color. Duo wore a black tee-shirt and black jean shorts. Even his socks and shoes were black. He was rather small, very fidgety and he looked dumb. Heero's eyes narrowed further. 

"Here Duo," Quatre interrupted, rolling a black crayon to Duo. Duo cheered and scooped it up. He was coloring in the gray lines of the grim reaper. Don't underestimate... maybe... 

"Good work Quatre!" Mrs. Huffaker declared suddenly, leaning over to study Quatre's art. Quatre beamed. He had a vague camel shape on his paper. Trowa leaned over to look at it, smiling a little. This seemed to make Quatre even happier. 

"Have you all introduced yourselves to Heero?" She asked eagerly. All four heads nodded. "Good! Now Heero, I'll get you some paper, and you can start drawing--" Heero nodded, accepting the orders. He took the paper Mrs. Huffaker provided, and laid it flat, aligning it appropriately level with the curve of his side of the table. "Today we are drawing our favorite thing. When everyone is done, we'll hang them up on the wall and share!" Another nod had her clapping again, and wandering off. Heero picked up the nearest crayon, and looked at his paper. Favorite... thing... Dog, camel, grim reaper-- He glanced up at Trowa's paper. A clown... 

This doesn't compute. I don't have a "favorite thing." 

"Aren't you going to start drawing?" 

Heero didn't respond. If I ignore him, he will go away. 

"Where are you from?" 

He's not going away. Should try alternative plan. 

"L1 colony." 

"Ohh. Why'd you come here?" 

Heero actually looked up. 

"You talk a lot." 

Duo smiled. "I know. That's what Mrs. Huffaker says. I get in trouble a lot. Mrs. Huffaker will get mad if you don't start coloring soon." 

"I don't have a "favorite thing" to draw," Heero grumbled. He looked at the silver crayon. Must draw... Must assmilate-- asmiliate-- blend in... He began drawing perfectly straight, appropriate lines. The dimensions of his room, the only thing he really knew. There was his bed-- a square platform with white sheets and a blanket. The door, and an overhead light. He picked up Duo's discarded black crayon and added a few more details. The dark shadow under his bed, and the door knob. 

"Ooo what's that a club house?!" Duo squealed, squishing closer to Heero to look. Heero pushed him away angrily. 

"Stay on your side," he ordered. Duo stuck out his tongue. Visions of hitting the small boy in the face flashed through Heero's head. He held them back. 

"So what is it?" He jabbered on. Apparently one threat wasn't enough. 

"It's my room," Heero supplied slowly. Duo just looked at him blankly. 

"Nuh uh." 

What? What? He doesn't believe me. Why would I lie? I would only lie to protect my identity and my mission... When I have one. 

"Of course it is," he responded. A soft, disbelieving snort came from Heero's left. Wufei was sneering at the plain gray image. 

"It looks like a jail," he commented snobbishly. 

"Don't you have any toys?" Quatre asked with wide eyes. Trowa passed him his yellow crayon wordlessly. He wasn't looking at Heero, but he was listening. 

"I don't need toys." 

No one spoke for a moment. I said something wrong. 

"Okay class! Finish up, and we'll start to share!" 

Heads lowered and the sound of furious coloring began. Heero's odd statement was momentarily forgotten. He looked down. 

A jail. 

  
  
"Your kitty looks very nice, Kaitlyn. Thank you. Duo... would you like to be next?" Mrs. Huffaker spoke haltingly. She'd avoided the child's rapidly waving arm as long as she could. Duo rocketed out of his chair and sprinted to the front of the room. 

"I drew Death because he's really cool and he always wears black and that's what my friends call me-- they call me Shinigami actually--" 

"Thank you!" Mrs. Huffaker cut in expertly. Duo looked crushed. He handed his paper to the teacher with a drooping smile that flipped upwards when she slashed a giant red "A" across it. Heero watched him emotionlessly. 

A jail... 

"That just leaves Heero! Come on up--" 

"I didn't draw anything," Heero said simply. The kids around him turned to stare in disbelief. 

"W-what?" Mrs. Huffaker inquired. It seemed as if when presented with the opportunity to color, a five year old child never declined. 

"I didn't color anything," Heero repeated. Duo was bursting to object. Heero shot him a piercing gaze; one filled with warning. The boy wasn't as dense as he'd thought, because he didn't comment. 

"Well... that just won't do. You'll have to do your work in this class, Heero, or you can't graduate. Have your picture done tomorrow, please." The teacher was not happy. 

Must not inform J of this. 

"Time to get ready for the busses, class! Go get your coats and lunch boxes!" 

Chaos broke free as the end of the day approached. Heero's table scattered, rushing the cubby holes built into the far side of the classroom wall. He hadn't brought anything. 

"Do you know what bus you ride, Heero?" Mrs. Huffaker asked gently. Heero didn't even look at her. 

"I have a ride." 

"Okay..." The shrill scream of a bell startled her. She waved at and good-byed the blurred figures of her students as they scattered. Heero stood, and followed at the tail end. He walked mechanically through the emptying halls, and out onto the concrete sidewalk. Gigantic yellow vehicles roared away, exhaust making the air seem thick, and gray. He stood frozen. One minute later a long black car crept into the school's circle drive. It halted before Heero's motionless form. The back door opened, and he ducked inside. The stiff leather seats held him poised appropriately, feet dangling. 

"How was school?" J asked disinterestedly. He motioned to the driver to pull away. Heero kept his gaze on the back of the front passenger seat. 

"Fine." I drew a jail. 

  
  
As Heero ran, with wires and nodes attached to his developing arms chest and forehead, he fell into the quiet, black block of his mind. The one that helped with the training, and the pain of J's evaluations. Even now it dimmed the burning in his chest from exertion, and the ache of his overworked leg muscles. The treadmill showed now signs of slowing. 

The black block now held a gray drawing. One with simple lines. 

I drew that today. 

It's not important! I have to train! He shouted mentally. The image faded... but not the memory... He was tired. 

  
  
Heero walked into school behind a tall, smelly third grader. He was walking very slowly. Heero walked faster, dodging around the big boy and just nudging his arm. 

"Hey! Watch it stupid!" 

Heero threw an impatient, angry glare back at the boy. His class arrived, and he stepped in. A few of the other students had arrived. They looked at him for a moment... then turned back to the toys. They were building a fort. 

"Hiiiii your name's Heero, right?" 

Heero had just made it safely to his seat. He looked at the speaker. 

It was a girl. She was as tall as he was, and had golden blonde hair, tied back with two small braids. Her eyes were very blue. She smiled shyly at him. 

"Yes." 

"I'm Releeeena Peacecraft. My daddy's famous." 

Heero's attention span failed on him. He turned back to his book bag. J had bought it upon a simple request. He'd frowned at Heero's further desire for paper, and crayons, but had complied. He pulled out his forged "favorite thing." It was a swing set. He'd seen one on the way home yesterday, and had copied the memory down, to please the teacher. It would fool her. 

"Ohhh is that your drawing?! It's soooo coool!!" Relena snatched the paper from his hand. Heero cursed his slow reaction, and took it back. Relena pouted. 

"Eww it's Relena!" 

Duo had arrived. He once again wore black-- it looked like a different version of yesterday's outfit. Longer black shorts, and a black tee-shirt with a white collar and sleeves. Quatre, Trowa and Wufei followed, passing the murderous Relena towards the protection of their cubby holes. 

"Shut up, Doo-Doo!" Relena screamed, planting her hands on her ruffled pink hips. 

"Ahh! Don't call me that!!" Duo wailed, hitting a pitch even Relena couldn't match. He held up a threatening fist. Relena made a hideous face and pranced off. Mrs. Huffaker entered the room smiling, and calling the start of class. Heero had returned to business. He found his new cubby hole, and placed his bag in it. Mrs. Huffaker doted on his drawing, and thanked him with a bright red "A." 

"Who's ready for our math workbooks?!" 

  
  
"I don't *know*!" 

"Duo," Mrs. Huffaker scolded. The impatient boy's head flopped loudly onto the table. His study group sighed collectively. Heero couldn't believe this-- he's not even trying. 

"Just add three and seven--" 

"Why?" 

"Just do it!" The teacher growled. Duo's eyes grew round. 

"Duo, you can do it," Quatre encouraged. Duo folded his arms stubbornly, and looked up pointedly at clock. 

"Look-- one minute till recess we're *done*--" 

"Duo!" Mrs. Huffaker cried. "You can tell time but you can't add?!" The bell rang, stopping her from any further disbelief. 

"Never said I couldn't add," he said simply, rising like a hurricane from the table. Quatre looked stressed, as did the rest of the table. 

I don't know why she put me here... 

"C'mon Quatre-- let's go get the monkey bars 'fore Releeena gets them." 

Heero shuddered. Relena. He surveyed the room nervously. The nut case was helping Mrs. Huffaker in cleaning up the room. The exit was clear. 

"You wanna play on the monkey bars too?" 

Heero swiveled around to the inquiring voice. He looked at Duo. The adjective "stupid" crossed his mind, but didn't fix. He was just... flighty. 

"What?" 

"Geeze, don't you listen?!" Duo sighed in exaggeration, shaking his head and sending his unruly braid flopping-- right into Wufei's face. The cool boy's face turned red in anger, and he looked ready to kill. Heero was watching the fascinating shades of red, orange, blue, purple and pink flash across Wufei's features. He didn't expect Duo to knock ferociously on his skull with sharp childish knuckles. He didn't even have time to react, nor the will to. 

He surprised me. 

I'm never surprised. 

"Come on! Relena will get there first and she'll wanna play Queen of the World again!" Heero was bowled over by an impatient, black clad boy. Not having any other prime directive, he followed. What is a monkey bar? 

  
  
There were no monkeys on these bars, but the Duo was close to one. He swung expertly from one bar to the next, pulling himself up to the top of them and trying to mimic Trowa's easy tightrope swagger. He fell twice into the sand beneath the bars, onto Quatre's sand pile every time. The blonde laughed at him, and built another one in preparation. 

This is similar to sniper training. Requires arm strength-- 

"Aren't you going to play?" 

Quatre. Piling up sand faithfully-- oof! Duo fell again and erupted into a coughing / laughing fit. His blue eyes were merry. Fun filled. 

"I don't play." 

"Well you must not do very much-- you don't have any toys, and you don't play. I'd be bored. I bet I could race you all the way across the bars!" 

A challenge... Heero almost smiled grimly. There were barely 25 bars, spaced less than a foot apart. 

"I'm the best racer," Duo bragged, smiling brightly. Heero approached beside him on the wide, steel structure. He assumed the same half hanging position and waited, eyes fixated on the other side. 

"Ready! Seeeeet!" Quatre drawled. "Go!!" 

Heero heard a bang. The bang of a gun, signaling the beginning of his training course. He saw J's face behind the viewing glass. Waiting for him to fail... 

His feet hit the sand softly. His ugly yellow sneakers sank slightly. 

"Wow! You moved so fast!" 

"How'd you do that?!" 

Heero wiped his hands. Two point seven seconds. 

"Do you have monkey bars at home?!" Duo ran around him excitedly. "I don't have any-- Quatre does, but Father Maxwell doesn't let me go over there everyday 'cause he says I'll 'disturb' them." 

"I have a gym," Heero replied simply, watching the hyperactive little boy with a frown. He never seemed to stop. 

"A gym!? Like the school's?! With seats and basket ball hoops--" 

"No. It has a track, and a pool. Training stuff... Stop," Heero ordered. Duo managed one more loop then leapt straight up into the air, swinging his hand up to catch a bar-- he missed, and flopped heavily into the sand. He looked at Heero with sparkling eyes. 

This could be a dangerous expression. 

"Can I come over?" 

  
  
"No." 

"Please?! I can get a note from Sister Helen and I'll only stay for a little while-- Quatre, and Wufei and Trowa'll come too and we can have a pool party!" 

"No." Heero was nervous. None of them had gotten on their busses. Quatre's ride was taking them all home. J would arrive in seconds. 

J will not be happy that I am interacting with so many people-- 

"Why not?" 

"I'm not allowed," Heero snapped. He inched away from Duo's overpowering presence. The low, rumbling sound of a car's engine was approaching. He almost wished it were Quatre's. 

It was a long, formidable black car. It halted before him. Heero glanced over to see four pairs of round eyes. Duo's jaw was hanging open. 

"Is *that* your car?!" 

"Good-bye," Heero growled. The back-seat door opened. He was inside quickly, and driving off even faster. They watched his window until it passed, and he knew they were still watching as the car disappeared onto the main street. 

"What was that, Heero?" 

Such calm, innocent words. Heero felt threatened. 

"Some stupid kids, sir. They were just talking to me--" 

"Talking...." 

Heero was silenced. 

  
"You're not paying attention!!" 

Heero couldn't find his black block-- it was being infiltrated by monkey bars and swinging, braided kids chattering and laughing and having so much fun-- 

"MISS!! Try it again!! You will not stop until you have completed the exercise perfectly!!" 

I have... to finish it.... to stop.... perfectly.... Heero raised his gun. The faux bullets had exploded close to his ear, embedding small shards of shrapnel in his face... his head was ringing from the blast. There! 

Seven seconds later the exercise was over. Completed perfectly. J removed the empty gun from Heero's limp hand. He was dismissed. 

  
  
"Hey kid." 

Heero kept walking. School would begin in fifteen minutes. 

"Hey!! Look at me stupid!! Hey!!" 

Something grabbed his arm, and Heero spun around. It was the tall, smelly third grader. Heero scowled at the unfit child. 

"I don't like you." 

"I don't like you, either." 

The bully hadn't expected that. His fat fist moved dangerously close to Heero's nose. "I'm gonna hit you--" 

Heero waited. He would accept the challenge. J had ordered him to accept every wise challenge; ones in which he was clearly superior, and challenges in which he could learn to be superior. 

I am better than him. 

The kids fist swung back. He wasn't very fast. 

"Do not fight. This will draw attention to my superior experiment. You will endure whatever pain you have induced-- it will be your fault for catching enough attention to be beaten upon. Boy!" 

"Yes Doctor J." 

Heero's head rocked back. It wasn't as bad as the exercises. The next punch wasn't as accurate as the first, and it cracked against Heero's chin. 

"Fight me!!" 

"Get him Mike!!" 

"Heeeeero!! Oh noooooo!" 

Mike pushed him hard. Heero stumbled back, but didn't fall. The air in his lungs rushed out as Mike hit him in the stomach, and he was doubled over. 

"Stop!! Stop it right now!!" A teacher had arrived. Hands helped him up. He pushed them off. There was, surprisingly, no blood. His face stung. 

"Are you all right?" 

"Fine." 

  
  
They didn't believe him. The school nurse looked him over from head to toe, poking and prodding. She found no cuts, and only the faint beginnings of bruises. "You're lucky," she said. Heero declined the offer for them to call "his parents", and went to class. Buzzing voices met his entrance. Mrs. Huffaker inquired about his well being. 

"Fine." 

"Okay... Well, sit down. I'm assigning projects!" 

"Did you *really* get in a fight with Fat Phil?!" Duo hissed. Heero winced internally. He was practically yelling into his hurt ear. 

"Don't talk to me," Heero ordered. He stared at Mrs. Huffaker. This was the center of his focus, his purpose... No distractions. 

"Okay..... But you're coming over to Quatre's house right? For the camel project?" 

Camel? 

"... I'll come around now to make sure your groups and project ideas are ready!" 

"I figured you'd wanna get in a group with us--" 

"Oh Heeeeeero! Come be in my group!" 

"..... or you'll get Releeeeena...." Duo trailed off, glaring as Relena flounced up. Heero glowered at the ditz. 

"Go away," Heero grunted. Relena didn't seem put out at all. She grabbed Heero's arm and started tugging. One sharp, indiscernible movement resulted in Heero's release, and it sent Relena wheeling backwards as if she'd lost her grip. 

"Heero's in our group, Releeeeeena," Duo declared. "We're doing camels!!" Relena, or Duo.... Relena, or Duo..... Heero twitched as Relena looked to him imploring for affirmation of this. He nodded. The girl looked positively crushed, but not beaten. 

"Camels are stupid. MY group is doing peacocks and our project will be tons better than yours!!!" 

"Nuh uh!!" Duo bolted up and tugged rapidly on one of Relena's braids. She screamed, but Duo was all ready seated and looking innocent. 

"Oh Relena, your group needs you!" Mrs. Huffaker sang. No further hail was necessary. 

"So; Quatre's shoh-fur will pick you up. Where do you live?" Duo fiddled violently with his pencil. Quatre smiled as Heero's eyes rose to him. Trowa was as emotionless as ever, and Wufei was writing round, fat letters, spelling out "Nataku" all over his homework. 

"My... father can take me...." 

J will never agree to this. But I have to shut him up somehow... 

"Okay, cool. Come over at four o'clock! Give 'em your address Quat!!" Duo's chair screeched across the floor next to Quatre. Heero watched them chatter and argue and laugh as the blonde carefully scribed out his address. 

I shouldn't have agreed. I do not need distractions. Nor friends. We can accomplish this project here, at school..... 

"Here. Is your cook gonna have ice cream again?!" Duo slid the paper to Heero but kept his hopeful gaze on Quatre. Trowa seemed to brighten up at this. 

"Yep! Chocolate and strawberry, and vanilla sundaes!!" 

"Yeah!! Hey, Wooo; can I have your cherry--" 

"No!" 

Ice cream.... Heero felt deflated looking at the innocent, neatly scrawled symbols. 

J will not be pleased... 

  
  
"A... project, boy?" J's yellowed sneer turned darker. Heero stared unflinchingly at him, his body taut and always, always prepared. The drone scientists behind J moved methodically. They were no doubt planning more state of the art weapons for Oz, or for rebels... And they were of course setting up the day's training course. 

"Yes sir." 

"Irrational. You could not decline?" 

"No, sir." Heero had never given such a bold faced lie. J seemed to believe it. He flexed the shiny gears of his mechanical arm. It was a source of tension for Heero. Cold, and immovable against his neck, when J chose to punish ... or just threaten... 

"Fine. I'll have the chauffeur bring you. I have a meeting at five... This will be interesting. Stay for dinner, if you can..." J chuckled cruelly. "I will test my machine's camouflage abilities... Dismissed." 

Heero trekked back to his room. It was cool-- set at a constant 65 degrees Fahrenheit. Heero was forced into constant motion to keep his body warm, and prepared. He sat down on the bed. Back straight. There were papers on his desk. The bottom one... Was picture of a swing set. Heero crumpled it with out hesitation. He tossed it into the small waste basket beside the desk. The maid would take it to the incinerator tomorrow. 

  
  
The chauffeur opened the door easily, and Heero clambered out of the deep leather seat. Quatre Rebarba Winner's home. Winner Incorporated's home. 

After two gates of guards and confirmation, Heero had finally been let off in the curve of the long circular drive, right before the 10 white marble steps. He ascended, and stared at the giant wooden door. He had to stretch to ring the door bell. 

With a slow, deliberate motion the door swung open. Heero stared impassively up at a smiling black and white clad door man. 

"How may I help you?" 

"Is Quatre home?" 

The door man kept his smile somehow. "Of course-- I'll lead you to him." He opened the door a little wider for the glaring kindergartner. Heero moved in. The manor... 

Was full of women. Tens of them, most blonde and fair, scurrying around the halls shouting orders to flustered maids. 

"They're preparing for a wedding," the door man explained. Heero didn't care. He followed at a strong walk, dodging women left and right. 

A guard in every hall. Armed. Alert. Security cameras every 4 feet. Motion alarms. A fortress, for the most powerful man on earth, and his family. Heero tried to avoid plotting ways to infiltrate, and destroy. 

There is no need. 

Deep within the manor Heero heard giggling and happy voices. A brighter and more feminine voice laughed pleasantly. Heero scowled as his heart wavered at such a simple thing.... They stopped in front of a wide door frame leading into sunshine and freedom. Trowa and Wufei were seated at a tall dark table, flipping through books and actually working. Quatre and Duo were playing a video game on one of the largest television screens ever. A giggling, fair haired woman sat between them, laughing as Duo's player fell into a mud pit. 

"Look mom!!" Quatre squealed. He'd won the round. The woman hugged Quatre with one arm, then scooped Duo up with the other. 

"Mrs. Winner," the chauffeur interrupted politely. Heero braced himself as he met heavenly blue eyes. Mrs. Winner. 

"Hello Simon-- oh, is this your new friend Quatre?" The woman's eyes flashed merrily at Heero. She was very beautiful. 

"Yeah! Hi Heero!" Quatre waved and scrambled up. Duo raced past him and jumped as he ran, right onto Heero. Heero glowered and tried to peel the braided leech off. 

"Duo!" Mrs. Winner laughed. She stood and Heero stiffened at her approach. She held out a welcoming hand. 

"Nice to meet you Heero. I'm Quatre's mom-- you can call me Quatrina..." Her smile faded, so Heero rushed to shake her hand. "Did you get hurt?" She asked softly. 

No injuries-- all systems functional-- 

"Nope! He got in a fight with Fat Phil and didn't even die!!" Duo hooted. He wrapped his arm around Heero's corded neck and bounced eagerly. 

"Oh...." Mrs. Winner frowned. Heero relaxed a little. It was all right if the woman disapproved-- I won't be invited over anymore.... Why do I fell........ disappointed? "Can I get you an ice pack for the bruise, Heero? It looks like it hurts..." 

"No, thank you," he answered stiffly. His eyes strayed to the table where Wufei and Trowa's work had ceased. Wufei waved smartly. Heero just stared into Trowa's eyes for a second. 

"All right. Will you stay for dinner?" She was cheerful again. Heero nodded. Duo's jaw dropped. 

"Really?! Cool!!" He hopped a few feet into the air and took off at a run. Wufei yelped when a flying leaping Duo landed across his lap. 

"Good! I hope you like macaroni and cheese. Okay, Quatre. I'll leave you alone for a little while-- make sure you do *some* work!" Quatrina kissed Quatre's soft blonde head, and ruffled Heero's hair as she went by. Heero jerked his head away unconsciously. Her touch was soothing. Too. 

"Come on," Quatre twinkled, skipping his way over to the table. Duo was seated decently for once, trying to avoid Wufei glaring daggers. 

"Okay, whadda we do?" 

  
  
"Yes they can, Maxwell, it's right here in the book." 

"But then they won't be camels!! They're horses!!" 

"Maxwell," Wufei barked sharply. Duo tossed his hands up into the air in aggravation, and reached out with lightening quick speed to pull Wufei's tiny, tight ponytail. Wufei was pretty fast as well, though. Suddenly Duo's hand was no longer insight, and a great crash reverberated through the airy den. Trowa and Quatre's mouths opened wide in shock, while Wufei smirked contentedly. Duo was silent. 

Heero's face felt odd. Stretched... He wasn't glaring anymore. Duo stood back up, acting wounded. The wounded boy glanced to Heero. His gaze stayed, riveted, then his flashing eyes narrowed. 

"That wasn't funny." 

Quatre giggled first, and set Trowa off. Duo ticked Wufei into a similar fit, and Heero realized he was smiling. And laughing. 

I've never laughed before. 

Never. 

How can I? I don't know how. I was not taught. 

J will not be pleased. 

I must not tell J. 

He'll never know. 

Duo's funny........ 

Heero halted there. He could handle smiling, and laughing for short period of times. But... 

I don't know what to do with people. I can't have friends... While his classmates were still laughing up a storm, Heero stopped smiling. He turned his attention back to the poster board. It had a picture of a camel, drawn expertly by the Arabian Winner child. Heero had been assigned to write the information around it. He finished wordlessly. 

"Hey, isn't it dinner ti--" 

"Here're my little men!! Working hard of course! Dinner's on!" Quatrina's voice was an interruption that Duo welcomed. He took off and almost catapulted himself into Quatre's mother's arms. Wufei and Trowa hurried as well, taking a hold of either hand. Quatre was content to walk beside Trowa, half skipping. They waited for Heero to near. He followed in single file, eyes forward. 

My mother-- 

Is dead, he stopped himself. All I have is J, and my training. He surveyed the dining room silently, and took a seat next to Duo, opposite Mrs. Winner..... She smiled at him, and watched the maids scurry about to place steaming plates full of a deceptive meal-- it looked delicious, and was healthy too. Heero watched Quatrina offer thanks, and heard the others dig in. He shoveled mechanically. My goal is to see the bottom of the plate. Only then will my meal be finished. I will not waste, for I am a soldier; I will use every available resource. 

"'Re we gonne go to Eero's ouse nesht time?" Duo mumbled around salad-- salad that no normal 5 year old would ever eat. He's a trash can-- 

"Heero's house?" Wufei inquired. Heero paused in eating. 

"Unless we can go to your house Wu--" 

"No!" Wufei choked. "My grandfather banned you Duo!!" Duo shrugged. 

"Can't have you guys over my house, and I don't wanna face Trowa's lions again--" 

"They were in their cages, Duo," Trowa told him softly. Duo scowled. 

"So? He almost ate my braid!!" 

"Mike doesn't like human hair," Trowa assured him. Quatrina laughed softly, but didn't comment. 

"Huh. So let's go to Heero's house!! 'Sides, I wanna see his gym!!" Duo turned a hundred watt smile to Heero. 

"You can't," he muttered. 

"Why not?" Duo pouted. 

"My... father doesn't like visitors..." Heero stopped eating. He no longer had an appetite. His goal was thwarted effectively by Duo's talk of visiting his... home... They aren't my friends-- why are they pretending to be? 

"Aww, are you sure? I won't break anything!! I'm not always a klutz!!" 

"You're not a klutz Duo," Quatrina reproached. "You're growing." 

"He's a klutz," Wufei insisted. Duo made a face at the Asian. 

"That's okay," Quatre added. "It'll be easier to meet here!" 

"Okayyyy...." Duo didn't seem convinced. Heero was still uneasy. His methodical glance swept the room, and centered on Quatrina. She ate precisely, and fussed gently over Wufei next to her, chatting easily and refilling his water glass with the overly large pitcher. She looked up suddenly, and smiled at him. 

Heero was frozen. 

I'm not afraid, he reasoned, pulling out of her calm, loving stare. Heero's plate was removed by a nameless hand, and Duo cheered. 

"Yeah! Sundaes!!" 

The chocolate was a pleasant treat. One that Heero did not relish. I can't get used to this. 

"So... where are you from, Heero?" 

Heero paused, mid spoonful. 

"L1." 

"A colony? How nice," Quatrina declared eagerly. She was perfect-- immediately eager in whatever the five kindergartners had to say. Attentive. Loving. "What do your parents do?" Prying. 

Heero scowled. J knew this would happen.... 

"My father is a scientist. My mother died." The practiced lie oozed out of his tight lips. He felt everyone's gaze like laser beams. 

"Oh, I'm sorry." Quatrina's voice was a mere comforting whisper. 

Something in her tone frightened Heero. She *is* sorry, as if she could have done something to stop it... How can anything be compassionate like that.... Heero was agitated. So many questions, and emotions-- 

"Are you going to eat that?" 

Duo spoke easily. Heero stared at him, almost grateful for breaking his dangerous train of thoughts... 

"No." Heero slid the cool bowl over to Duo who thanked him and devoured the remaining sundae in the same opening movement of his mouth. 

"My mom died too. So did my dad, so I live with Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. Hey Wufei--" 

"NO Maxwell! I'm eating it!" Wufei snarled, curling his arm protectively around the ice cream. Quatre had finished his, so was safe, and from the one-eyed look Trowa gave him, Duo knew his ice cream favors were finished. 

"Fine. I'm finished anyway. Hey Quatre! Can we go back and play Mud Mashers?!" Duo bounced excitedly in his seat. Quatre looked over at his mother. 

"Half an hour boys, then we'll have to start working again. When is your father going to pick you up, Heero?" 

"At seven." 

"You're leavin' that early?!" Duo complained. Heero didn't answer. The boy was entirely too emotional. 

"Alright-- let's clean these dishes up--" 

  
  
Heero sat down beside Duo hesitantly. He didn't like sitting on the floor-- too vulnerable. He scooted slightly away. Duo was radiating warmth and energy. J would like... breaking him.... Heero shuddered internally at such a thought. This interaction is not good. 

"Here--" Duo tossed Heero the second controller. "I'm really good at this-- except when Quatre doesn't let me win." Quatrina laughed at Duo's cheeky grin. Heero stared at the plastic contraption, and glowered as annoying electronic sounds trilled from the television speakers. Duo played first. His hand-eye coordination was flawless, except when he paused to talk. When his player died, Heero was up. He'd memorized Duo's finger movements. Arrow, arrow, B button A button-- 

"Wow!" He heard Duo whistle. One level. Two. Three. 

Duo was giggling. "You beat Quatre's score!! And Trowa's! And!! Wufei's!!!!" 

"What?!?!" Suddenly Wufei was wrestling with Duo, rolling around on the expensive carpet, and laughing like hyenas. Heero froze as he felt Duo's arms wrap around his neck, attempting to bring him down. Instinct flooded in like a jet of cooling liquid in an overheated engine. In the blink of an eye he'd flipped Duo over his head, and was holding the braided boy down firmly with one tiny hand to his neck. Duo's eyes were wide. Not afraid, yet, but very round. 

"Heero!" 

He knew that voice. 

Fear crept in. Heero bolted up to stand at attention. J was standing rather complacently at the doorway beside Quatrina. He had a prosthetic arm instead of the metal one. He looked... almost normal... 

Except for the furious gleam in his cold, false eyes. 

Schooling his expression to reveal nothing... always nothing... Heero waited. 

"I'm not very "proud" of you son, using your martial arts skills against your friends!!" Mirth masked as concern filled Dr. J's voice. 

"It's okay Heero's dad," Duo declared. "That was cool!!" He was up and inspecting J already. J smirked at Heero. 

"Thank you for having Heero over," J rumbled to Quatrina, and Quatre, who cowered behind her. Trowa stood bravely beside him, and Wufei was sitting shrewdly at table, watching. 

"It was no problem-- Heero was a pleasure to have. He can come over again any time." Quatrina herself was wary of J. 

Good, Heero thought. 

A look of mock disappointment filled J's pale, wrinkled face. 

"That won't be possible.... We're moving again next week, I'm afraid. My job, you know." J smiled. 

"You're moving?!" Duo screeched. 

Heero took the news dutifully. His eyes betrayed him however. They left J's to look at Duo and his crushed expression. 

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. We'll miss him..." Quatrina's smile was lost on Heero. "See you at school, Heero," Quatre called quietly. 

He marched out of the manor, and sat stock still in the car. J did not exact punishment anywhere else besides the lab. Heero prepared himself. 

  
A soldier does not cry. A soldier has no tears. I don't feel pain. I am only here to fight. To win. To kill. 

... but the lashes hurt.... 

I do not cry. I have no tea--ars-- Heero cried out at the last crushing blow of J's arm. He used the thing mercilessly. 

"You are a disappointment," he growled. "I trained you perfectly-- but *you* are the mistake!! I am unenrolling you from that damned school. You will not interact until you learn to ignore temptation. Stand up and begin your regiment. Work until you drop, boy. GO!!" 

  
  
The nurses came, and they went 18 times. They came once every hour.... School was over then... 

I miss them, Heero thought dully. He stopped there. It hurt to stay awake. His back hurt..... 

Why is she shaking me? Heero wondered shortly after. The nurse was shaking him, urging him to get up. 

"The Doctor orders it!" She hissed softly. Heero shivered, and complied. She dressed him in a stiff white shirt and khakis. He couldn't move, so she left him sitting on the side of his bed, head low and breathing erratic from pain. His world blurred in and out slowly-- 

"Heero." J had adopted that eerily pleasant, soothing tone he used for anyone outside of his establishment. That meant there were visitors. "You have guests..." 

"Hey Heero! Wow, your room *doesn't* have any toys!!" 

Duo. Heero didn't look up. The door shut with a soft, cushioned click. J was gone-- Heero could feel it. But he was watching. 

His bed bounced painfully as Duo leapt onto it, sprawling out accordingly. 

"Uhh, not comfy at all." Duo paused, waiting for some sort of reaction from Heero. All he could do was sit.... And try not to cry. 

I am a soldier. 

"You weren't at school today, Heero. Are you sick?" Quatre inquired. He sat at the bottom of the bed gently. Wufei took the desk chair, and Trowa sat on the floor, leaning up against the bed. 

He nodded. 

The silence was awkward. 

"Say something. Are ya still sick?" 

Another nod. 

Duo suddenly slapped his back, hard and with the flat of his palm. Heero let out a strangled sound, and catapulted up. He could barely stand, and almost fell on Wufei. The Asian struggled to keep Heero standing. 

"Heero?!" Duo cried. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you--" 

"He-- he's bleeding!" Quatre cried. 

"Go get his dad!!" 

"No," Heero rasped. "Put me down--" 

"But you're hurt," Wufei objected. Heero pushed away from him then, and fell to his knees. 

"Get out," he begged. If J realized that they could be a threat-- he'd hurt them." 

"No!" Duo snapped. "You're bleedin' and you don't look good. I don't like your dad. Come on-- let's go to Quatre's house--" 

"....He won't -- let me...." Heero whispered. He felt broken. Duo was patting his shoulder gently. Quatre moved to sit in front of him. He looked so worried. 

I do not cry. I have no tears. I have no-- friends-- 

"Why not? Come on-- he doesn't have to know--" 

"Alright." The old J was back. His voice was hard, and threatening. "Heero needs his rest-- he isn't feeling well, and having his accident didn't help any. Let's go boys--" 

Heero felt immense relief... He *would* let them go. He didn't suspect anything. He thinks they're just little kids, stupid-- 

"See you later Heero," Quatre declared quickly, standing up. 

"But--" Duo argued. 

"Come on Duo, mom said she's making waffles tonight--" 

"But Heero--" 

"Come on Duo! We'll tell mom how Heer's "doing"!!" Quatre was pushing him. Rubber soles of gym shoes scuffed on the hard tile floor. When silence was restored, Heero levered himself to the ground, and curled up. 

I don't want them to go..... 

  
  
"Get up." 

No.... 

"Get up, boy, or I'll give you another set of lashings-- one you won't ever wake up from." 

Stop it... I hate it when you threaten me. 

"I thought I'd killed the last of you emotions. You were no longer human. One can kill such emotional responses at an early age..." 

....I wonder how Duo and Quatre, Wufei and Trowa are doing... on the camels..... 

"Your father was a perfect soldier. Until he met *her*. I thought I could avoid that contamination. You were perfect....." 

Get away from me. I hate you...... 

"At least they're gone now. Your friends are dead as well. You have no distractions now. You will become the perfect soldier--" 

A sick fog filled Heero's brain. J's words were too awful. He couldn't handle them. He can't kill them-- 

"We'll begin the hormone treatment tomorrow. That will block any further oppressive neuron interference...." 

They're dead? 

Wufei-- his throat cut. 

Trowa's narrow body arched in abnormal angles, shattered. 

Quatre..... white hair now stained red, and his crystal eyes closed forever... the eyes that were Quatrina's. 

Duo. Heero's mind froze. A terrible vision came to him-- it was of the small, energy filled boy lying in a ditch somewhere, covered in blood, his braid ripped away.... wide blue eyes lifeless... 

You killed them. 

There was no purpose. 

No purpose!! I am a soldier-- I only have purpose!! You had NO PURPOSE!! 

His fear was gone. J was no longer a threat-- his metallic arm was nothing. His cold voice just a wind. He's an old man. Heero rose. He blocked the pain with ease. There-- a pen on the desk. 

"Ah. You're alive. I suppose that's a good thing, even if you are worthless. Maybe that energetic child would have been better to break-- the one with the braid--" 

"I hate you," Heero hissed. 

"... you do? Well good." J didn't seemed surprised, or worried. 

Good, Heero mocked. He lunged. J was gone, and all he could see was a terrible monster. Metal arms, glaring red eyes and a sharkish grin. He raised the pointed pseudo-weapon with perfect intent. A plan was all ready formulating in his mind. One that would purposely stop the pain. Avenge their deaths-- and his... 

  
  
It was a cool, calm night. A little too cool for a wet child with tatters for clothes. His skin was burnt a little, but it didn't hurt as much as his back did. The grass was so nice though... Soft and caressing... Sirens were approaching. It had taken them long enough to respond to the giant fireball in the sky. Even now the fire raged on, and was burning away the entire complex. Thoroughly. 

Maybe I'll die here... I don't have anything to do now..... He listened as the fire trucks and the ambulances and the police cars squealed as close as they could manage. A lot of them had been paid off by J, but Heero didn't have to worry. No one knew about him. He didn't exist... 

"What a fire!" Someone exclaimed. 

"Yeah-- no one could have survived that...." 

"Hey-- hey!! It's a body-- it's a kid!! Medic!!!!!" 

Heero gazed up blankly at the concerned face of a young policeman. He stayed immobile while the paramedics hefted him on to a stretcher. The world swirled away then, in flashing red lights and needles. Heero almost liked them-- they weren't like J's needles....... 

  
  
"No medical history, no traceable fingerprints. He hasn't woken up yet so we can't ask him his name... It's like he doesn't exist..." 

"He's just a baby..." 

"Go take these charts down to research. He's an *amazing* baby..." The soft male voice sighed as the woman obeyed. Heero felt eyes on him. 

"Just a little kid... How did you survive all that........ Uhg-- Quatrina's going to kill me for leaving her out there... but she'll understand...." 

Quatrina. Heero's breathing hitched, and he couldn't help but open his eyes. A tall, fairly dark complexioned man stood over him. He had gentle, dark eyes. He looked familiar. 

"You're awake!" His voice was surprised. "You are amazing," he smiled. 

"Are you Quatre's father?" Heero asked slowly. He felt numb when he remembered... J killed them... Does he know? 

"No-- I'm his uncle." The doctor was surprised. "Do you know him?" 

Heero nodded. 

"You must go to his school..." 

"Yes...." Dead. 

"Are you friends?" 

"Yes..." He must not know.... 

"Would you like to see him? He's in the lounge with his mother." 

Quatre. 

Quatre is alive. 

I don't understand.... J... Lied... 

Heero nodded quickly and sat up. 

"Hey! Don't rush yourself like that you're not healed!!" Heero frowned impatiently, but conceded to lie back down. The doctor promised to send him in right away. 

The door closed. 

Open-- open and I'll see Quatre and he'll be okay-- 

A click erupted in the silence. Heero saw the pale, soft hair first. Quatre walked in shyly. 

"Hello--" He began politely, raising his eyes. Heero met them...... a seething emotion boiled. 

He's all right he's okay he's here they're all okay-- 

"Heero!!" Quatre shrieked, shocking even himself. He rushed the bed, then halted, and rushed it again. 

"We thought you were dead!!" The boy's eyes began to tear up. It was a strange sight to Heero.... "Momma said we couldn't come get you even if you were hurt cause there wasn't a reason--" 

How can he be like that.... Heero sighed softly. 

"It doesn't matter," he replied simply. "You didn't have to." 

"But you're our friend," Quatre trembled. "And you looked really bad...." 

"....I don't deserve friends...." Quatre had to lean close to hear the breathy, sad words. "...I'm a soldier..." 

Quatre seemed confused, but didn't question. He scrambled to retrieve a chair, and pull it up to Heero's bed. 

"Don' worry-- you're still our friend. Duo was really sad when your dad said you were leaving... Why are you mean to him? He just wants to be nice...." 

Heero's first instinct was to bristle, turn away, or snap at the innocent child. He battled against it.... 

"... I don't know..." 

Quatre's gaze was suffocating. He smiled then. Not understanding, but accepting Heero's words. 

"It's okay. Want me to go get my mom? She always makes me feel better when I'm hurt." Quatre jumped down gracefully from his chair and sped out. He called out into the hall, and was reprimanded, so he just waved frantically. 

"It's *Heero* mom!!" 

Heero heard a muffled "What?" And Quatrina had arrived. A cool, sweet smelling rush of air hit Heero's face, and he began to panic. It contrasted excessively with memories of acrid smoke and the burning in his lungs from smoke and fire and burning flesh. 

"Hey, hey Heero..." Quatrina smiled greatly, then softened it as she neared and caressed his forehead. Her hand felt so nice. "Don't cry." 

I'm not crying, he wanted to mutter. But then she wiped away a tear, and he had to believe it. 

I can't cry!! I didn't do it then, I don't want to do it now!! 

"You're safe now... Quatre and I will take care of you." 

Irrational. 

"It's okay..." She kissed his forehead. She was so gentle... One last shuddering breath had Heero spiraling down into restful darkness. 

  
  
***************************************** 

  
  
Epilogue 

  
  
***************************************** 

  
  
"Heero!" 

"No." 

"Aw come on!! Please?! All you do is study--" 

"No." 

"What're you saying no for I haven't even asked you anything yet." 

"No, no no no." Heero suppressed a smile. 

"Please?" 

"................" 

"Please Heero?!" 

"." 

"Fine! Fine-- see if I ever come over to offer you tickets to Disney Land again." 

Heero knew better. 

"If you wanted to go play ball, why didn't you just say so?" 

"Well, I figured you'd say "No." I'm not that stupid, Heero." 

"Could have fooled me." 

"Hey! Take that back!" 

"No." Heero clipped, setting down his pencil after the first calculus problem. Duo seethed and ranted on the soft grassy knoll. Behind him sprawled yards and yards of Winner Park, where Wufei was snoozing under the giant shade tree, and Quatre and Trowa were playing tennis. Duo held a ragged baseball mitt, a ball and bat. His hair stuck oddly out from beneath a backwards baseball cap, and swung fluffily in the breeze behind him. His eyes were sparking with light anger. 

"You're a jerk." 

Heero inclined his head slightly in acknowledgment. He stood fluidly and confiscated the ball. 

"Hey--" 

"I get to pitch." 

In the short silence that followed, Heero knew Duo was smiling and celebrating his victory. The calm was brief however, because soon enough the braided fool was leaping onto Heero's back and rapping against his skull with sharp knuckles. 

"That's cool. I'll just beat ya down like I did on Mud Mashers!" 

* * *

***XP*:** Heh.. -_-* I can't write-- what else can I say? XÞ : Contact: [silvernyanko@yahoo.com][1]

   [1]: mailto:silvernyanko@yahoo.com



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